The Penicillin Wars

G and I have had to get creative lately with P, because for about 2 weeks she has had a mild ear infection that has required antibiotics. The first round of medicine went down with nary a fuss; in fact she was so excited about medicine that she was reminding us when it was time to take it, and don't forget the Tylenol chaser, please. The first bunch of medicine finished up, she was still acting cranky and there was evidence of more eye-teeth coming through, so it was back to the doctor's. We left there clutching a prescription for a somewhat stronger dose, and got it filled that night, at a cost of $39.

P took that medicine the first night, spewed up most of it, and willingly accepted her shot-glass of children's Tylenol. The next day we tricked her into taking it mixed in yogurt, after she spit up the dose that I attempted to shoot down her throat. We both got covered in thick white goop. That night? No way. We tried the yogurt trick again. Fool me once, shame on me, Fool me twice, shame on you. We resorted to hiding it in her orange juice, and she drank it. One cup. That night? You guessed it - nuh uh!! "Don't ike it!' We had to keep it covered because the medicine changed the viscosity of the juice, and made it look milky, and we never cover the OJ because then the sippy cup sippy part gets clogged with the pulp and it's a mess. We resorted to the final dregs of Medicine #1, which went down without a fuss. Then we ran out.

So we tried the gross white stuff again, and it was soundly, repeatedly rejected. I called the doctor, and explained the situation. G tried to tell me that "we could wait it out" but somewhere deep in my brain I have memories of my brother's ear infections and the screaming that was packaged so nicely with them. I nay-sayed, and called the doc. They said "there's a chewable version, we'll send in a script for that". OK, right? Just tell her it's candy, she'll eat them right up.

The first dose, she did indeed chew up the "candy". We raised our eyebrows in happy surprise, pumped our fists in the air subtly, and moved on with our lives. The next 13 doses would be a breeze, right?

The next day, she refused the "candy". "Don 'ike it!". We asked her to just eat it like a candy, in her mouth, just chew it up. No. Suck on it. She did that, a little, and then spit it out. No. We took another dose and mashed it and mixed it into a bowl of applesauce. Success! She ate it all up! We did the little eyebrow move again, and resolved that applesauce will become a precious commodity in our home.

Last night, we tried applesauce again, and lo, it was a success! We were convinced we were in the clear.

And then this morning dawned, after a night of her getting up twice - which is a sure sign that something was amiss in the land of the Lady. She never wakes up during the night... unless she is sick. We tried the medicine in the applesauce, with much fanfair: "It's time for your applesauce!!! Before oatmeal! Yum!" It was rejected and pushed away from Her Ladyship. We attempted the OJ trick with pulverized pill, and, while she drank a good deal of the juice - we even broke out a neon bendy straw to make it more fun - she would not drink the dregs, where the pill bits had settled like so many little pink artificial coffee grounds.

So she was sent to school this morning with the rejected applesauce, that had more "untainted" sauce mixed in to cut the medicine. I told her teacher to keep offering it until it was gone: morning snack, lunch, afternoon snack. I am fully prepared to give the child ice cream for dinner tonight, in order to get that damn pill into her system.

The funny thing is, the plan that G and I had for her has backfired in a way: we have done our best to feed her mainly "real" food: we don't eat a lot of processed stuff in our family, and I don't mean to be preachy about that, it's just how we prefer to eat. Sure, there are plenty of treats in our pantry, but we do a lot of cooking, and eating fresh fruits and vegetables. I have battled a weight problem my entire life and, if I can change that for my child, I hope to do so. We don't have twinkies, or flavored snacks, or the kinds of things you find in a convenience store. We eat cookies, but I make them by hand. It's just how we like to eat. Sure, we get junk food periodically, but it's very rare indeed. And, training her tastebuds to enjoy real food has put us in this artificial taste situation. She doesn't know what Tang or Kool-Aid tastes like, and doesn't know that, when she has any opportunity to have something that tastes like that, she should run for the hills to check it out. Not that chewable penicillin is any prize in the candy world, but it's a taste of what's on the other side... and will keep those Eustacian tubes running nice and clear.